S002 The Pernicious Poisoning of Peachblossom
The Pernicious Poisoning of Peachblossom is a special episode of Queens of Adventure. In this alternate continuity, Booty and the Hofish arrive in Peachblossom for a show to find multiple calamities preventing the festival. Synopsis A horce cart carries a load of apples, hay, and drag queen adventures towards the hamlet of Peachblossom. The queens have been hired to perform at their Harvest Festival, and a friendly farmer named Sheila Cornsilk has offered them a ride to the crossroads near the village. Sheila is also surprised to see a water genasi, a drider, and a tiefling. Londyn, the firbolg, might fit in better in the country. Londyn jokes she just joined up with the group on the road. At a crossroads, the queens hop off the cart and follow a sign west for about fifteen minutes. They notice a strange scent in the air... something is rotten. Turning a bend, they reach the town of Peachblossom with no sign of a festival. The tavern is being boarded up, and the well has a contaminated sign. A man in a gray robe approaches, apologizing. He is Elder Berry and the show has to be cancelled. Elder Berry explains that the crops are poisoned, there is a dragon in the area, and their children are missing, but noting they are also adventures, the town wants to hire the queens to help. While Fraya and Arson try to negotiate price and drink tickets, Londyn asks about the children. Elder Berry noticed signs several teens might be werebears. In the past the town ran werebears out of town, but he tried to cure them and the teens ran away. He realizes his intolerance was wrong and he needs someone to go and find them and pass on the town's apologies. Arson wants to know what he will do to make sure what happened never happens again. Elder Berry says the town voted to never exile or cure werebears again. Butylene suggests they create a safe place, maybe a werebear bar. Elder Berry gives a large peach pit to them to give to the youths to help protect them. It is a rare object, grown on a tree in town once per year, and protects from poison. The Elder continues to explain the youths left three weeks ago, and the green dragon showed up shortly after and the crops died and the water became tainted. He recommends they not try to draw the dragon out due to its ferociousness. The queens head west out of town, following the path the youths would have taken, through a field of gourds. Three large flail slugs are feeding on the gourds, which leak green gas when crunched. Fraya walks up the gourds and uses purify food and drink. The group teases she could have used that on the town well. One of the slugs sniffs at the healed gourd and slithers away. Londyn uses speech with beasts and leaf to ask the slugs to accompany them. They surround and sniff the firbolg. With the slugs trailing them, they move down the path into the forest and find signs of bears, and some other large predator has knocked down trees. Butylene finds a hive of bees and uses her pipe of smoke monster to create smoke bees. This calms the hive while she harvests some honey comb, wrapping it in large leaves. Arson hears a bear distantly. They find a clearing with a river in it. The bridge across has been smashed. Across the river, strange shapes hang in the trees above a small pile of mammal bones. Fraya sees massive poisonous snakes in the water. They insist Londyn talk them into making a path across the river, despite her and Fraya's discomfort. Three heads rise to the surface. Londyn shapeshifts into one, earning their trust as she explains their mission. The snakes braid themselves to create a bridge. Fraya runs onto them and acrobatically jumps to the other bank. As she lands near the bones, looking up she sees ten sturges hanging overhead, looking hungry. She uses light to make herself glow in case they attack. Butylene tries to follow, doing somersaults, but loses her footing and falls into the water, but the current sweeps her to the other side. The water is brackish and smells, but she barely keeps her head out of the water and claws onto the bank. Arson, after watching all of this, just walks normally across the snakes. She suggests to Londyn, who is crossing, to use the slugs as food distraction for the sturges. As this happens, Fraya prays for them and the party leaves the clearing. They emerge from the forest to a blighted landscape where they can hear muttering. They find a rainbow maned unicorn named Pantine.. He explains it is his duty to preserve the land's health, and he can do it with his unicorn tears. He needs an enchanted flower to produce those tears, but it doesn't look safe. The group follows across the field, and the massive dragon flies overhead. Arson turns invisible and Fraya negates her light spell on herself while creating a fog cloud to hide them. The dragon leaves, and Butylene asks the unicorn if the dragon is the cause of the poisoning. Pantine believes it is and explains green dragons despise fresh fruits and vegetables. They head into another forest and to a clearing with a single blue flower. The unicorn tears up after eating the flower and lets Butylene take one tear in a glass vial. A moment later animals rush across the clearing, first mice, then rabbits, and then five wolves crash past them. Then a stampede of aurochs come towards them. Arson drops her invisibility and screams at the aurochs to intimidate them. They bellow in shock and many of them peel off and avoid the party. Fraya uses animal handling to grab one's horns and leaps onto its back. It carries her off. Butylene checks the nature ''around her to find a safe place to gather the rest of the group together. The unicorn runs off with the herd, thanking them for their help. The group finds Fraya stuck up in a tree. Going to get her, Arson walks partway up the tree alongside Londyn. The drider wraps the cleric with spidersilk so when they cut her down they can lower her with safety after the snake breaks the branch. On the ground they can see fur and pawprints, and thirty feet beyond there is a waterfall hiding a cave. A voice burbles up from the lagoon. A face emerges from the waterfall, the guardian of the healing springs. The group explains they are trying to find the werebears and provide a token from their families to create mediation. As the group explains their reasons for wanting to help the werebears, the waters ebb, revealing a passage. The water spirit tells them to go with health. Peering into the cave, Arson can see a small encampment. Butylene wades across the lagoon in faux slow motion, wafting the honey. Several human faces pop up from behind some equipment. A tall woman, Ursula, stands and asks them who they are. Butylene explains their mission, to offer apologies and a token of protection. She sets down the honey and takes steps back to appear harmless and tells the werebears about the poisoning of town and presents the peach pit. The bears aren't sure they can trust Peachblossom. Butylene sympathizes with them, and says she does think the town genuinely seems to regret what they did, and they may have convinced them to open a bear bar. Arson suggests they all come back, temporarily, heal the town, and then decide if the werebears want to stay or not. Londyn turns back to fibolg now, to try and ease the group's concerns. Ursula and the others decide to try and the waterfall splashes Fraya, who had tried to sing, for her poor performance. They trek back across the wilds, past the fields empty of aurochs and dragons, past poisoned sturges near slime trails, back over the bridge of snakes that reforms for them. Back in the farm land, Fraya grabs a vine of gourds. They hear beating of wings and shouting as the green dragon circles the town. Fraya takes her gourd vine, spinning them over her heads to throw at the dragon. Arson tries to distract the dragon with a sultry dancing and a ''prestidigitation song. Butylene charges across the town with the unicorn tear while Londyn turns into a big bear to draw the dragon's attention away from her teammate. Fraya's gourds tangle up Arson and they both tumble down. The dragon sees Butylene, but then sees Londyn transform, and behind her the youths have also shifted to bear form. They charge through town, distracting the dragon. Londyn grabs Elder Berry. Butylene bloops the tear into the well. After a moment of silence, a shimmering rainbow rises out of the well rising into the sky. The plants around the well revive, and fruits and vegetables revive. A ring of purification flows over the town. Ursula hurls a revived tomato against the dragon, followed by the other bears. From the tavern, townsfolk run out and join in the fruit throwing. The dragon beats its wings and flies away. The rest of the townsfolk emerge from hiding and gather around the werebears. Elder Berry steps forward and apologizes, knowing it will never be enough, but he wants to make the town a safe haven for lycanthropes. Perhaps in time they can heal the pain, as they healed the town. They shake hands with the apologetic townsfolk. The elder thanks the party, and tells them they will rebuild, replant, and maybe someday have that Harvest Festival. Londyn requests two drink tickets for every performance and suggests a name for the bear bar: Furry Furblog. A few months later, the queens perform on stage, as the town and werebears celebrate the Harvest Festival. Characters Party * Arson Nicki - drider warlock * Butylene O'Kipple - tiefling alchemist * Fraya Love - water genasi cleric and Introducing * Londyn Bradshaw - firbolg druid NPCs * Sheila Cornsilk * Elder Berry * Pantine * Guardian of the Healing Springs * Ursula and the Werebears Monsters/Enemies * Flail Slugs * Poisonous Snakes * Sturges * Green Dragon * Aurochs Episode Notes Lore * The town of Peachblossom's youths regularly develop lycanthropy and are usually driven from town for it. Memorable Quotes * "I'm still not convinced this cornsilk isn't corn polyester." - Fraya Love * "I'm wondering if the bees are actually going to be on their knees as you suggested." - Londyn Bradshaw * "But why don't we just talk to the snake?" - "YOU could talk to the snakes." - Londyn Bradshaw and Fraya Love * "How are you going to cross the damn river, sister?" - "I can cross the river any damn way I please. I can walk across water, gurl." - Londyn Bradshaw and Fraya Love * "They made us all sandwiches and now they are going to sacrifice themselves." - Londyn Bradshaw * "What kind of motivational speech are you going to give these slugs?" - Butylene O'Kipple * "There will be plenty of time for blood smells later." - DM Matt * "I'm turning invisible. This is a big nope. I have the ability; I'm using it." - Arson Nicki * "Is it like rats where you can tell if it's a boy?" - Butylene O'Kipple * "A tiefling, a drider, and a snake walk into a bar... and we order a hennesey." - Butylene O'Kipple * "The wet lady flopping around the lake is with me too." - Butylene O'Kipple * "It's okay, we have the gourds." - Fraya Love References * Catherine Tate Show - How Very Dare You * Mean Girls - She Doesn't Even Go Here * Crossroads (movie) * Hamlet - Something is Rotten in the State of Denmark * Tammy Brown - "Walk the Children In Nature" * Labyrinth * Care Bear Stare * Harry Potter extendable ears and Parseltongue * Snakes on a Plane * Ghost - You in Danger, Girl * Diana Ross * Gandalf (although Butylene may have meant Dumbledore and the Pensieve) * Dr Seuss - Hop on Pop and the Lorax * Legolas * Lion King * Grandmother Willow - Pochahontas * Avon * Pokemon - Magicarp * Flashdance * Vine Please Welcome to the Stage * Waxy Couture Name That Tune * "Anaconda" - Nicki Minaj * "I Say A Little Prayer" - Dionne Warick * "Hop On It" - Ginuwine * "Waterfalls" - TLC * "Around the Riverbend" - Pochahontas * "Honey" - Robyn * Theme from Baywatch * "Bring Them Home" - Les Miserables * "She's My Cherry Pie" - Warrant * "You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)" - Dead or Alive Behind the Queens * This episode was part of a special Pride event where five D&D podcasts each released an episode, one episode per day, with each podcast taking inspiration from the symbolic meaning of a different color of the Pride Flag's rainbow. Queens of Adventure took Orange, which represents Healing. * The podcast event used the song "LGBTQ" by Liz Sooy as its theme song, and it replaces the standard Queens of Adventure theme song in this episode. * Fraya recognizes the sturges. It is unclear if this episode is in the same continuity of the Lost Mines of Phandelvar episodes, or if it is only Fraya the player, not character, who recognizes them. * DM Matt in the outro re-announces the Patreon Preview weekend happening at the end of June on youtube to introduce the bonus episodes to more people. Category:Episodes Category:Special Episodes Category:Alternate Continuity